Notes on Grief
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Notes on Grief is an exquisite work of meditation, remembrance, and hope, written in the wake of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's beloved father’s death in the summer of 2020. As the COVID-19 pandemic raged around the world, and kept Adichie and her family members separated from one another, her father succumbed unexpectedly to complications of kidney failure. Expanding on her original New Yorker piece, Adichie shares how this loss shook her to her core. more
86 pages, Hardcover
First published Knopf
4.22
Rating
31095
Ratings
4197
Reviews
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
111 books 41329 followers
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie grew up in Nigeria.Her work has been translated into over thirty languages and has appeared in various publications, including The New Yorker, Granta, The O. Henry Prize Stories, the Financial Times, and Zoetrope. She is the author of the novels Purple Hibiscus, which won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize and the Hurston/Wright Legacy Award; Half of a Yellow Sun, which won the Orange Prize and was a National Book Critics Circle Award Finalist and a New York Times Notable Book; and Americanah, which won the National Book Critics Circle Award and was named one of The New York Times Top Ten Best Books of 2013. Ms. Adichie is also the author of the story collection The Thing Around Your Neck.
Ms. Adichie has been invited to speak around the world. Her 2009 TED Talk, The Danger of A Single Story, is now one of the most-viewed TED Talks of all time. Her 2012 talk We Should All Be Feminists has a started a worldwide conversation about feminism, and was published as a book in 2014.
Her most recent book, Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, was published in March 2017.
A recipient of a MacArthur Foundation Fellowship, Ms. Adichie divides her time between the United States and Nigeria.
Community reviews
Never againNever again. It feels as if I wake up only to sink and sink. In those moments, I am sure I do not ever want to face the world again. Grief because of the loss of a loved one can be an overwhelming experience – one of the few that perhaps rightly might be classified as universal, as an experience most of us will go through if we are so fortunate not to die that young ourselves that we will not have to mourn the loss of someone dear. Grief can render one speechless, hopelessly at loss for words while thirsting for them to make sense of the experience and the emotions as well as to hold on to and honour the life of that unique human being so dearly loved which cruelly ended – always too soon, a life always too short. more
I didn't plan on reading this today but what started with me planning to read a few pages just to get a feel of it, ended up with me reading it to the end and how timely because tomorrow would have been my late young sister's 28th birthday. I've learned that grief from the death of a loved one just never goes away, never really heals. Even if life returns to a semblance of normal, the grief is always there, just under the surface, ready to burst out at any slight trigger. There's so much that CNA wrote here that echo the thoughts I had in those days, weeks, months after my sister died; showing how grief affects us in similar ways but even with all that, we all grieve differently. I can tell this wasn't easy for CNA to write but reading this has made me realize, maybe. more
Adichie’s father taught her valuable life lessons— was respectful of her boundaries — left her many years of great memories—…He was a defender of spouse…was the first to champion his wife’s accomplishments. …His humor was exceptional…He listened beautifully ……His pride of Chimamanda mattered to her more than anyone else’s. …Chimamanda not only admired her father so very much, as a daddy‘s girl, but she actually ‘liked’ him —so much he was her favorite person to hang out with. … she liked his strength, his humbleness, his integrity, his faith, his sense of duty and responsibility to do good,…. A Beautiful book … about grief for the father she loved —deeply loved. more
"outra revelação: o quanto o riso faz parte do luto. o riso está profundamente entranhado no linguajar da nossa família, e nós agora rimos ao lembrar do meu pai, mas em algum lugar por trás desse riso existe uma névoa de incredulidade. o riso vai se apagando. o riso se transforma em choro, que se transforma em tristeza, que se transforma em raiva. estou despreparada para a raiva descomunal e avassaladora que sinto. more
4 "dear, loving" stars . A lovely short tribute to a father and a daughter's experience of acute grief. I do not have much to say except that the prose was simple, loving, respectful and reads like a very polished grief diary. My condolences to the entire family and you were blessed to have such a wonderful patriarch. more
In the days immediately following my beloved dad’s death, I found this slim novella on my shelves. When I couldn’t focus to read anything else, I was absorbed. As I ran out of vocabulary to describe the pain, I found insight here and new ways to describe the ache lying deep in my core. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie lost her father suddenly in 2020, and as a writer often does, she picked up her pen to help release some of the anguish. Her raw and affirming prose left me feeling seen and understood. more
هل تعرفون الشعور الذي ينتابكم حينما تشرعون في قراءة كتاب ما ويدفعكم للاستمرار في القراءة. على عكس هذا الشعور، كنت أشعر برغبة حقيقية في أن أتوقف عن قراءة هذا الكتاب، لأنني أحسست بأن هناك غصة تخنقني وأنا أقرأه. السبب الآخر هو أنني أعتقد بأن تشيماماندا لم تكتب الكتاب للآخرين بقدر ما كانت تكتبه لنفسها، وتحاول من خلاله -ومن خلال الكتابة- أن تتعامل مع حزنها الشخصي. ولكنني مع ذلك لم أتوقف عن القراءة وأنهيت الكتاب في جلسة واحدة، ربما لأنني - كالكثير من البشر - نحب تعذيب أنفسنا، وربما لأنني - كالكثير من البشر أيضًا - نحب التلصص على الآخرين ورؤية كيف يتعاملون مع مآسيهم. هذا الكتاب أكد لي بأن الفقد، وما يولده من حزن، تجربة مفرطة في الأنانية، فنحن عندما نحزن على رحيل شخص ما لا نحزن عليه في الحقيقة بقدر حزننا على أنفسنا . more
The book is exactly what the title says. As a constant reader of the author's work for the past few years, I would say this book does what the author does best. Non-fiction writing at its finest. What made the reading more engrossing and understandable are the short chapters, easygoing language, anecdotes and emotions that are described the way everyone can feel at the moment. The book made me tear up at many parts. more
I get this book. I didn't think I would get it this much. I too lost my father, 11 years ago, but not so suddenly. The loss of a parent can be one of the hardest experiences of one’s life. When Adichie talks about the world continuing to move but that no one is able to feel her soul drifting away in the grief, I understood her. more
One of the best books I have read this year - ranks up there with The Problem of Pain by C. S. Lewis and Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala. Pain is so overwhelming, so often we just want to hide from it, but it always finds us. We all have to confront pain; this book is one of the best ways to go about preparing for that inevitable confrontation - highest recommendation. more
This slim hardback is an expanded version of an essay Adichie published in the New Yorker in the wake of her father’s death in June 2020. With her large family split across three continents and coronavirus lockdown precluding in-person get-togethers, they had a habit of frequent video calls. She had seen her father the day before on Zoom and knew he was feeling unwell and in need of rest, but the news of his death still came as a complete shock. Adichie anticipates all the unhelpful platitudes people could and did send her way: he lived to a ripe old age (he was 88), he had a full life and was well respected (he was Nigeria’s first statistics professor), he had a mercifully swift end (kidney failure). Her logical mind knows all of these facts, and her writer’s imagination has depicted grief many times. more
"الحزن ليس شفافاً، بل مادي، مُستبد، شيء مُبهم. "عندما قرأت عن الكتاب قبل أن أقرأه، سـألت نفسي: أيعقل أن تلك التجربة المريرة التي جعلت الخوف والربكة يتملكوا كُل جسدي مر بها شخص في أرض الواقع فعلاً؟ بل وكتب عنها؟ لا بُد أن أقرأ هذا الذي كنت أتمنى أن لا أمر به، هذا الذي دعوت الله كثيراً أن يُجنبي إياه. دعني أحكي لك قصة حقيقية قد لا تخصك ولا تُهمك في شيء، ولكن وجب توثيقها، على الأقل بالنسبة لي. مع بدايات جائحة كورونا، وانتقالي من بلد إلى آخر وفُراق والدي لأول مرة منذ حوالي رُبع قرن. حدث ذلك التتبع الغريب والمآسأوي بغلق مطارات الدول، لمنع تفشي تلك الجائحة التي فتكت بالعديدين، وأثقلت كاهلنا باشتراطات صحية، وإلتزامات وتدابير وقائية، وحتى لحظات كتابة هذه السطور لا زلنا كالراقص على الدرج، لا نعرف هل مرينا من هذه الأزمة الكئيبة؟ أم ما زال هُناك متحور جديد ينتظرنا في الأفق ليفعل تلك الفعلة الشنيعة مرة أخرى. more
It feels strange to 'review' something so intensely personal, so I'll keep it brief. In Notes on Grief Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie both captures her intense grief about her father's death, and also writes a beautiful tribute to the man she has lost. It's a slim volume, my copy having 88 pages, but it contains so much and I expect it is one I will be glad to have in my book collection, knowing I can revisit it whenever I feel the need. . more
كتاب فاتن، مؤلم، يقطر حزنا وصدقا، وتشيماماندا أديبة أريبة، تعرف كيف تحزن وكيف تكتب حزنها، مرثية الوالد المؤثر، مع إجراءات العزل والكورونا لم تستطع السفر للبكاء على جسده فبكت بدموعها على الورق نَص شديد الشاعرية والعذوبة ودافيء رغم قسوته أحيانا، لأن الرحيل يحمل قسوته الضرورية كما الغياب. كتاب شديد الجمال، وترجمته متقنة جدا وبليغة. more
“La pena era una celebración del amor, quienes sentían auténtica pena habían tenido la suerte de amar”. . more
Hace una semana, un accidente se llevó a mi papá. Es muy poco el tiempo que ha pasado, y este libro se cruzó conmigo justo cuando empezaba a sentir que no estoy procesando todo esto como se debe. Hubo párrafos donde me vi tentada a iniciar un diálogo. La autora describiendo a su padre, y yo al mío. Poniendo en evidencia cuán increíbles fueron, o cómo sus palabras, acciones y formas de ser, nos formaron también a nosotras. more
I’m sitting here in my hammock with tears streaming down my cheeks and I wasn’t even expecting this book to happen to me today, but it did at this perfect time. My sister died right before COVID happened and it was very unexpected. I read this book today and I felt seen and reading about so many of my feelings that are just too big for words was profound. Especially this piece:“Laughter is tightly braided into our family argot, and now we laugh remembering my father, but somewhere in the background there is a haze of disbelief. The laughter trails off. more
I thought this was going to be a book about grief in a general sense. I thought there would be some insights, some naval-gazing, some revelations, some enlightenment even. So, I was surprised, as I made my way from beginning to end, that it's simply 70 pages of the author telling us how much she revered her father and how despairing she is that he is no longer alive - she cries, she beats her fists, she falls to the floor - I could not relate. (At times it felt like "over-sharing". ) Everyone is different, everyone grieves differently, so I am not dismissive of her grief. more
I truly enjoyed getting to know Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's father through her poignant memoir. It was made all the more personal by listening to the author read her own words with feeling. Favorite quotes that caused me to pause, lean in and listen to over again:"You learn how glib condolences can feel. You learn how much grief is about language. The failure of language and the grasping for language. more
La perdita all’improvviso. Durante il primo lockdown Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ha perso suo padre. Aveva 88 anni. Ora non conta l'età quando si perde uno dei due genitori. Conta solo il dolore che dilania. more
هناك بعض الكتابات التي يمكن أن يُكتفى بتدوينها في مقالة طويلة. مثل تلك الكتاب الذي مثل تعبيراً صادقاً عن مشاعر وأحاسيس امرأة فقدت والدها العزيز. ولكن كانت السبعون صفحة تكراراً لفكرة واحدة وهى الأثر النفسي الذي تركه الرحيل على روح تلك المرأة، وتلك قليلٌ كمحتوى على ان يُضمّن في كتاب. Though the author's portrayal of her sorrow and agony resembles what I had been through after my father was gone, I couldn't relate to that book. Trying to figure it out, I reread the book. more
If I had written about my father when he passed away, if I ever decide to write in the future about his death, this is how I'd have written/ I'd write. ريفيو مصور للكتاب على قناتي. #دودة_كتبhttps://www. youtube. com/watch. more
I am writing about my father in the past tense, and I cannot believe I am writing about my father in the past tense. “Notas sobre o luto”, como próprio título indica, não é uma análise exaustiva sobre a perda de um ente querido, mas antes um conjunto de 30 apontamentos sobre a morte inesperada de um pai, que inclui o relato dos acontecimentos e dos sentimentos imediatos, bem como recordações prazerosas e a celebração de um homem respeitado pela comunidade e acarinhado pela família. Quando o pai de Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie morre inesperadamente, sem lhe dar sequer tempo de se despedir, a autora passa por várias fases do luto, começando pela negação. My sister Uche says she has just told a family friend by text, and I almost scream, ‘No. Don’t tell anyone, because if we tell people, then it becomes true. more
قررت أقرأ الكتاب ده في وقت بحاول أفهم الفقد اللي بمر بيه. بحاول أقرأ كتب عن ناس مرت بالفقد وبتحكي تجربتها معاه وبتوصف مشاعرها. حاسة إن حاجة زي دي هتحسسني بالونس، إني مش لوحدي في التجربة دي. الكتاب ده عمل كدة كويس اوي. ٨٠ صفحة قدرت أحس بسببهم بمشاعر حزن بس في نفس الوقت ونس. more
Adiche's father died during the covid lockdown. She was in the US, her father in Nigeria, and her siblings scattered around various countries. This really is Notes on Grief. Each chapter is short. Sometimes, it's a memory of her father, others, a particular feeling in a moment of grief. more
• "Find peace in your memories. " • " Happiness becomes a weakness because it leaves you defenseless in the face of grief. It is a testament of my parents that each six of us feels individually, intimately, known, and loved. And so we mourn differently. Yet "people mourn differently" is easy for the intellectual to absorb, but for the the heart it is much harder. more
Se me haría una falta de tacto ponerle estrellas que indiquen sí me gustó muchísimo o me gustó poquitísimo ya que la humanidad acaba de salir de una estampida contra la muerte durante un año, donde perdimos a cientos de miles de personas alrededor del mundo y seguro un libro como este le hará mucho bien a alguien que haya pasado por ahí en los últimos meses. Chimamanda narra desde su dolor la pérdida de su padre en plena pandemia, así como ella, cientos de miles de personas más perdieron a un ser amadísimo. En un libro muy chiquito en extensión va intercalando anécdotas de su papá y su presente, la falta de su papá. Así como ella cientos de miles de personas escribieron en tuiter o en FB lo mismo que Chimamanda, algo que anunciara la muerte de ese ser amadísimo y alguna anécdota y alguna despedida, el problema es que esos cientos de miles no son Chimamanda, Chimamanda solo hay una y solo puedo decir que me quedó a deber muchísimo. Quería que me enseñara algo más del dolor, algo más allá de las ausencias con esa mente y corazón tan privilegiado que tiene, pero no lo fue. more
What did I think. I thought that this would be apposite to my present situation, which illustrates that grief is really not the ideal decision maker. Why should I find this helpful, it's not meant as therapy, nor will her path through darkness light mine. But this:. only now have I touched grief's core. more
Um pequenino testemunho sobre o luto. Demasiado curto, em minha opinião. more
La pena es un tipo de enseñanza cruel. Aprendes lo poco amable que puede ser el duelo, lo lleno de rabia que puede estar. Aprendes lo insustancial que puede resultarte el pésame. Aprendes lo mucho que tiene que ver la pena con el lenguaje, con la incapacidad del lenguaje y con la necesidad de lenguaje. En esta autobiografía Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie nos cuenta la dolorosa pérdida de su padre en tiempos de coronavirus. more